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One night, Emperor Akbar dreamt that he had lost all his teeth, except
one. The next morning he invited all the astrologers of his kingdom to
interpret this dream.
After a long discussion, the astrologers prophesized that all his
relatives would die before him.
Akbar was very upset by this interpretation and so sent away all the
astrologers without any reward.
Later that day, Birbal entered the court. Akbar related his dream and
asked him to interpret it. After thinking for a while Birbal replied
that the Emperor would live a longer & more fulfilled life than any of
his relatives.
Akbar was pleased with Birbal's explanation and rewarded him handsomely.
Birbal's Khichri
On a cold winter day Akbar and Birbal took a walk along
the lake. A thought came to Birbal that a man would do anything for
money. He expressed his feelings to Akbar. Akbar then put his finger
into the lake and immediately removed it because he shivered with cold.
Akbar said “I don’t think a man would spend an entire night in the cold
water of this lake for money.”
Birbal replied “I am sure I can find such a person.”
Akbar then challenged Birbal into finding such a person and said that he
would reward the person with a thousand gold coins.
Birbal searched far and wide until he found a poor man who was desperate
enough to accept the challenge. The poor man entered the lake and Akbar
had guards posted near him to make sure that he really did as promised.
The next morning the guards took the poor man to Akbar. Akbar asked the
poor man if he had indeed spent the night in the lake. The poor man
replied that he had. Akbar then asked the poor man how he managed to
spend the night in the lake. The poor man replied that there was a
street lamp near by and he kept his attention affixed on the lamp and
away from the cold. Akbar then said that there would be no reward as the
poor man had survived the night in the lake by the warmth of the street
lamp. The poor man went to Birbal for help.
The next day, Birbal did not go to court. The king wondering where he
was sent a messenger to his home. The messenger came back saying that
Birbal would come once his Khichri was cooked. The king waited hours but
Birbal did not come. Finally the king decided to go to Birbal’s house
and see what he was upto.
He found Birbal sitting on the floor near some burning twigs and a bowl
filled with Khichri hanging five feet above the fire. The king and his
attendants couldn’t help but laugh.
Akbar then said to Birbal “How can the Khichri be cooked if
 it so far away from the fire?”
Birbal answered “The same way the poor man received heat from a street
lamp that was more than a furlong away.”
The King understood his mistake and gave the poor man his reward.
How many crows in the kingdom
One day Emperor Akbar and Birbal were taking a walk in
the palace gardens. It was a nice summer morning and there were plenty
of crows happily playing around the pond. While watching the crows, a
question came into Akbar’s head. He wondered how many crows were there
in his kingdom.
Since Birbal was accompanying him, he asked Birbal this question. After
a moment’s thought, Birbal replied, “There are ninety-five thousand four
hundred and sixty-three crows in the Kingdom”.
Amazed by his quick response, Akbar tried to test him again, “What if
there are more crows than you answered?” Without hesitating Birbal
replied, “If there are more crows than my answer, then some crows are
visiting from other neighboring kingdoms”. “And what if there are less
crows”, Akbar asked. “Then some crows from our kingdom have gone on
holidays to other places”.
Pandit Sevaram
One day a Brahmin by the name of Sevaram asked Birbal for help. He said
that his forefathers were great Sanskrit scholars and that people used
to respectfully refer to them as Panditji. He said that he had no money
nor need for wealth, he was content living a simple life. But he had
just one wish. He wished people would refer to him as Panditji too. He
asked Birbal how he could achieve this.
Birbal said that the task was fairly simple. If the Brahmin followed his
advice word for word, this task could be achieved. Birbal advised the
Brahmin to shout at anyone who would call him Panditji from now on.
Now the children who lived on the same street as the Brahmin did not
like him since he scolded them often. They were just waiting for an
opportunity to get back at him. Birbal told the children that the
Brahmin would get really irritated if they would start calling him
Panditji. The children started calling him Panditji and the Brahmin as
advised by Birbal started shouting at them. The children spread the word
to all the other children in the neighborhood that Sevaram hated being
called Panditji, so they in turn all started calling him Panditji. After
a while, Sevaram got tired of scolding them but everyone already was
used to calling him Panditji. Hence the game was over but the name
stuck.
Poet Raidas
In the town of Agra there lived a rich businessman. But he was also
quite a miser. Various people used to flock outside his house everyday
hoping for some kind of generosity, but they always had to return home
disappointed. He used to ward them off with false promises and then
never live up to his word.
Then one day, a poet named Raidas arrived at his house and said that he
wanted to read out his poems to the rich man. As the rich man was very
fond of poetry, he welcomed him in with open arms.
Raidas started to recite all his poems one by one. The rich man was very
pleased and especially so when he heard the poem that Raidas had written
on him, because he had been compared with ‘Kubera’, the god of wealth.
In those days it was a custom for rich men and kings to show their
appreciation through a reward or a gift, as that was the only means of
earning that a poor poet possessed. So the rich man promised Raidas some
gifts and asked him to come and collect them the next day. Raidas was
pleased.
The next morning when he arrived at the house, the rich man pretended
that he had never laid eyes on him before. When Raidas reminded him of
his promise, he said that although Raidas was a good poet he understood
very little of human nature. And that if rich businessman truly wanted
to reward him, he would have done so the very same night. Raidas had
been offered a reward not because he was really pleased or impressed,
but to simply encourage him.
Raidas was extremely upset, but as there was nothing
that he could do,
he quietly left the house. On his way home he saw Birbal riding a horse.
So he stopped him and asked for his help after narrating the whole
incident. Birbal took him to his own house in order to come up with a
plan. After giving it some thought he asked Raidas to go to a friend’s
house with five gold coins and request the friend to plan a dinner on
the coming full moon night, where the rich man would also be invited.
Birbal then asked Raidas to relax and leave the rest to him.
Raidas had one trustworthy friend whose name was Mayadas. So he went up
to him and told him the plan.. The next day, Mayadas went to the rich
man’s house and invited him for dinner. The dinner has been planned for
the coming full moon night. He said that he intended to serve his guests
in vessels of gold, which the guests would get to take home after the
meal. The rich man was thrilled to hear this and jumped at the offer.
After sunset on the full moon night, the rich man arrived at Mayadas’
house and was surprised to see no other guests there but Raidas. Anyhow,
they welcomed him in and started a polite conversation. The rich man had
come on an empty stomach and so was getting hungrier by the minute.
Raidas and Mayadas were quite full as they had eaten just before the
rich man’s arrival.
Finally at midnight the rich man could bear his hunger no longer and
asked Mayadas to serve the food. Mayadas sounded extremely surprised
when he asked him what food was he talking about. The rich man tried to
remind him that he had been invited for dinner. At this point Raidas
asked him for proof of the invitation. The rich man had no answer. Then
Mayadas told him that he had just invited him to please him and had not
really meant it. He then went on to say that even though they did not do
anything good for other people they also would never try to hurt another
human being. He asked the rich man not to feel bad.
At that point Birbal walked into the room and reminded the rich man of
the same treatment that he had himself meted out to Raidas. The rich man
realised his mistake and begged for forgiveness. He said that Raidas was
a good poet and had not asked him for any reward. He himself had
promised to give him some gifts and then cheated him out of them. To
make up for his mistake he took out the necklace that he was wearing and
gifted it to Raidas. Then they all sat down to eat a happy meal.
Raidas was all praise for Birbal and thanked him profusely. Emperor
Akbar also invited him to his court and honoured him, all thanks to
Birbal.
Birbal really was a wise man.
Re-Union
One day, when Akbar and Birbal were in discussions, Birbal happened to
pass a harmless comment about Akbar’s sense of humour. But Emperor Akbar
was in a foul mood and took great offense to this remark. He asked
Birbal, his court-jester, friend and confidant, to not only leave the
palace but also to leave the walls of the city of Agra. Birbal was
terribly hurt at being banished.
A couple of days later, Akbar began to miss his best friend. He
regretted his earlier decision of banishing him from the courts. He just
could not do without Birbal and so sent out a search party to look for
him. But Birbal had left town without letting anybody know of his
destination. The soldiers searched high and low but were unable to find
him anywhere.
Then one day a wise saint came to visit the palace accompanied by two of
his disciples. The disciples claimed that their teacher was the wisest
man to walk the earth. Since Akbar was missing Birbal terribly he
thought it would be a good idea to have a wise man that could keep him
company. But he decided that he would first test the holy man’s wisdom.
The saint had bright sparkling eyes, a thick beard and long
hair. The
next day, when they came to visit the court Akbar informed the holy man
that since he was the wisest man on earth, he would like to test him.
All his ministers would put forward a question and if his answers were
satisfactory he would be made a minister. But if he could not, then he
would be beheaded. The saint answered that he had never claimed to be
the wisest man on earth, even though other people seemed to think so.
Nor was he eager to display his cleverness but as he enjoyed answering
questions, he was ready for the test.
One of the ministers, Raja Todarmal, began the round of questioning. He
asked “Who is a man’s best friend on earth?” To which the wise saint
replied, “His own good sense”. Next Faizi asked which was the most
superior thing on earth? “Knowledge”, answered the saint. “Which is the
deepest trench in the world?”, asked Abdul Fazal. And the saint’s answer
was “a woman’s heart”. “What is that which cannot be regained after it
is lost?” questioned another courtier and the reply he received was
‘life’. “What is undying in music” asked the court musician Tansen. The
wise saint replied that it was the “notes”. And then he asked “which is
the sweetest and most melodious voice at night –time? And the answer he
received was “the voice that prays to God.”
Maharaj Mansingh of Jaipur, who was a guest at the palace asked, ”what
travels more speedily than the wind?” the saint replied that it was
“man’s thought”. He then asked, “which was the sweetest thing on earth?”
and the saint said that it was “a baby’s smile”.
Emperor Akbar and all his courtiers were very impressed with his
answers, but wanted to test the saint himself. Firstly he asked what
were the necessary requirements to
rule over a kingdom, for which he was
answered ‘cleverness’. Then he asked what was the gravest enemy of a
king. The saint replied that it was ‘selfishness’. The emperor was
pleased and offered the saint a seat of honour and asked him whether he
could perform any miracles. The saint said that he could manifest any
person the king wished to meet. Akbar was thrilled and immediately asked
to meet his minister and best friend Birbal.
The saint simply pulled off his artificial beard and hair much to the
surprise of the other courtiers. Akbar was stunned and could not believe
his eyes. He stepped down to embrace the saint because he was none other
than Birbal.
Akbar had tears in his eyes as he told Birbal that he had suspected it
to be him and had therefore asked him whether he could perform miracles.
He showered Birbal with many valuable gifts to show him how happy he was
at his return.
The cock And the Hen
Since Birbal always outwitted Akbar, Akbar thought of a plan to make
Birbal look like a fool. He gave one egg to each of his ministers before
Birbal reached the court one morning.
So when Birbal arrived, the king narrated a dream he had had the
previous night saying that he would be able to judge the honesty of his
ministers if they were able to bring back an egg from the royal garden
pond.
So, Akbar asked all his courtiers to go to the pond, one at a time and
return with an egg. So, one by one, all his ministers went to the pond
and returned with the egg which he had previously given them.
Then it was Birbal's turn. He jumped into the pond and could find no
eggs. He finally realized that the King was trying to play a trick on
him. So he entered the court crowing like a cock.
The Emperor asked him to stop making that irritating noise and then
asked him for the egg.
Birbal smiled and replied that only hens lay eggs, and as he was a cock,
he could not produce an egg.
Everyone laughed loudly and the King realized that Birbal could never be
easily fooled
The foolish Brahmin
Once upon a time a foolish brahmin came to visit Birbal with a strange
request. He wanted to be addressed as ‘pandit’. Now, the term ‘pandit’
refers to a man of learning. But unfortunately this poor brahmin was
uneducated. Birbal tried to explain the difference to him saying that it
was not correct to call an uneducated man a pandit and because of this
very reason it would be improper to call him so. But the silly brahmin
had his heart set on this title.
So, as usual, Birbal had a brilliant idea. He said that as the brahmin
was an uneducated man he should hurl abuses and stones at anyone who
dared to address him by the very same title he wanted. Then Birbal
called all his servants to himself and ordered them to call this lowly
brahmin a pandit. The brahmin was very pleased. But the moment the
servants started calling out to him as ‘pandit’ he pretended to be very
angry and started to abuse them loudly. Then he picked up a few stones
and hurled them in their direction. All as per clever Birbal’s advice.
 All this shouting and screaming drew a crowd. When people realised that
this brahmin was erupting every time anyone called him ‘pandit’, they
all started to tease him. Over the next couple of days, he would
constantly hear the refrain ‘pandit’ wherever he went. Very soon the
whole town started referring to him as ‘pandit’ much to his delight.
The foolish brahmin never realised why people were calling him in this
manner. And was extremely pleased with the result. He thanked Birbal
from the very bottom of his foolish heart.
The Three questions
King Akbar was very fond of Birbal. This made a certain courtier very
jealous. Now this courtier always wanted to be chief minister, but this
was not possible as Birbal filled that position.
One day Akbar praised Birbal in front of the courtier. This made the
courtier very angry and he said that the king praised Birbal unjustly
and if Birbal could answer three of his questions, he would accept the
fact that Birbal was intelligent. Akbar always wanting to test Birbals
wit readily agreed.
The three questions were
1. How many stars are there in the sky
2. Where is the centre of the Earth and
3. How many men and how many women are there in the world.
Immediately Akbar asked Birbal the three questions and informed him that
if he could not answer them, he would have to resign as chief minister.
To answer the first question, Birbal brought a hairy sheep and said
“There are as many stars in the sky as there is hair on the sheep’s
body. My friend the courtier is welcome to count them if he likes.”
To answer the second question, Birbal drew a couple of lines on the
floor and bore an iron rod in it and said “this is the centre of the
Earth, the courtier may measure it himself if he has any doubts.”
In answer to the third question, Birbal said “Counting the exact number
of men and women in the world would be a problem as there are some
specimens like our courtier friend here who cannot easily be classified
as either. Therefore if all people like him are killed, then and only
then can one count the exact number.”
The wicked barber's plight
As we all know, Birbal was not only Emperor Akbar’s favourite minister
but also a minister dearly loved by most of the commoners, because of
his ready wit and wisdom. People used to come to him from far and wide
for advise on personal matters too.
However, there was a group of ministers that were jealous of his growing
popularity and disliked him intensely. They outwardly showered him with
praise and compliments, but on the inside they began to hatch a plot to
kill him.
One day they approached the king’s barber with a plan. As the barber was
extremely close to the king, they asked him to help them get rid of
Birbal permanently. And of course, they promised him a huge sum of money
in return. The wicked barber readily agreed.
The next time the king required his services, the barber started a
conversation about the emperor’s father who he also used to serve. He
sang praises of his fine, silky-smooth hair. And then as an afterthought
he asked the king that as he was enjoying such great prosperity, had he
made an attempt to do anything for the welfare of his ancestors?
The king was furious at such impertinent stupidity and told the barber
that it was not possible to do anything because they were already dead.
The barber mentioned that he knew of a magician who could come of help.
The magician could send a person up to heaven to enquire about his
father’s welfare. But of course this person would have to be chosen
carefully; he would have to be intelligent enough to follow the
magicians instructions as well as make on-the-spot decisions. He must be
wise, intelligent and responsible. The barber then suggested the best
person for the job – the wisest of all ministers, Birbal.
The king was very excited about hearing from his dead father and asked
the barber to go ahead and make the arrangements immediately. He asked
him what was needed to be done. The barber explained that they would
take Birbal in a procession to the burial grounds and light a pyre. The
magician would then chant some ‘mantras’ as Birbal would ascend to the
heavens through the smoke. The chantings would help protect Birbal from
the fire.
The king happily informed Birbal of this plan. Birbal said that he
thought it a brilliant idea and wanted to know the brain behind it. When
learning that it was the barber’s idea, he agreed to go to heaven on
condition that he be given a large some of money for the long journey as
well as one month’s time to settle his family so that they had no
trouble while he was gone. The king agreed to both conditions.
In the duration of this month, he got a few trustworthy men to build a
tunnel from the funeral grounds to his house. And on the day of the
ascension, after the pyre had been lit, Birbal escaped through the
concealed door of the tunnel. He disappeared in to his house where he
hid for a few months while his hair and beard grew long and unruly.
In the meantime his enemies were rejoicing as they thought that they had
seen the last of Birbal.
Then one day after many, many months Birbal arrived at the palace with
news of the king’s father. The king was extremely pleased to see him and
ready with a barrage of questions. Birbal told the king that his father
was in the best of spirits and had been provided with all the comforts
except one.
The king wanted to know what was lacking because now he thought he had
found a way to send things and people to heaven. Birbal answered that
there were no barbers in heaven, which is why even he was forced to grow
his own beard. He said that his father had asked for a good barber.
So the king decided to send his own barber to serve his father in
heaven. He called both the barber and the magician to prepare to send
him to heaven. The barber could say absolutely nothing in his own
defence as he was caught in his own trap. And once the pyre was lit he
died on the spot.
Nobody dared to conspire against Birbal again
Tit-Bits
Emperor Akbar's court was famous for its witty question and answer
sessions.
On one of these occasions, the Emperor asked Birbal if there was
anything that the sun and the moon could not see. Birbal's reply was
'darkness'. Akbar was pleased.
Next, he asked what was the difference between a truth and a lie. To
which Birbal replied that it was the distance between the ears and the
eyes because what you see with your eyes is true, but what you hear with
your ears is generally false. Akbar was satisfied.
Lastly, Emperor Akbar drew a line on the floor and asked Birbal to
shorten it without wiping out the ends.
Birbal drew a longer line below the line drawn by Akbar and remarked
that though he had not rubbed off the original line he had definitely
succeeded in making it shorter.
Who are Donkeys?
One fine day, Akbar, accompanied by his two sons and his clever Minister
Birbal, went to the river to take a bath.
They asked Birbal to hold their clothes while they were bathing and took
off their clothes and stepped into the river.
Birbal stood at the bank of the river, waiting for them, with their
clothes on his shoulder. Looking at Birbal standing like this, Akbar
felt like teasing him and remarked that Birbal looked like a washerman's
donkey with a load of clothes.
Birbal quickly retorted that he was carrying the load of not just one
donkey, but actually three.
The emperor was speechless.
Why is the camel's neck Crooked?
As you all know, Emperor Akbar was very impressed with Birbal’s wisdom
and greatly enjoyed his quick wit. One fine morning when Akbar was
especially pleased with Birbal, as a gesture of appreciation, he
promised to reward him with many valuable and beautiful gifts.
However, many days passed, and still there was no sign of even one gift.
Birbal was quite disappointed with the king. Then one day, when Akbar
was strolling down the banks of River Yamuna with his ever faithful
Birbal at his side, he happened to notice a camel passing by. He asked
Birbal why the neck of the camel was crooked. Birbal thought for a
second and promptly replied that it might be because the camel may have
forgotten to honour a promise. The holy books mention that those who
break their word get punished with a crooked neck; perhaps that was the
reason for the camel’s crooked neck.
Akbar soon realised his folly of making a promise to Birbal for gifts
and not honouring it. He was ashamed of himself. As soon as they
returned to the palace he immediately gave Birbal his justly deserved
reward. As you can see, Birbal always managed to get what he wanted
without directly asking for it.
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